well, if the shoe fits...

okay
an accumulation of shoe stories.
here we go.
MY RUBY SLIPPERSS!!
haha ohboy its been forever & i still haven't posted a picture
well, here we go now

ohmy. awkward wide feet & flipflop tan lines.

i dont ever wear them, they just sit in the corner of my room and make me smile whenever i look at them
i dont want to ruin them through wear, so i'll just keep them where they are
it sucked though because when i bought them, they didnt come in the cute wizard of oz box & hey dont have the "tap your heels 3 times.." on the insole
ahwell. i still have my ruby slipperrrrss!! hehe

my chanel cambon ballet flats!!
okay. theyre fake. i cannot afford real anything nowadays, but still, i finally have some after all these years!theyre not the best fake ever, but theyre good enough for me! and a nifty 80$ to
if the shop hadn't shit down, id have gotten the white ones too


my signed by Less Than Jake converse!!
oh. my freakin god. i'll write about this in my next blog, after i post this, but
roger manganelli tongued me! :p
haha punpunpun

i dont think i'll ever stop using that line

the rest of the band signed the shoe as well, but the tongue's most important to me right now
*giggles like a little schoolgirl
okay
i'll elaborate about less than jake in the next post, but for now, im going to go and apply for some more jobs & all


x

wait.wait. late.

well well. im back. late, again.
ugh
but
i come bearing good news this time

to cut long stories short, things are good with my boyfriend again, ive made some wonderful purchases, ive realized many wonderful things and have encountered numerous epiphanies..most recent of which being my family epiphany
today, i was sitting at the computer just thinking about the people in my family
all the shit people, the good people, the people that were good people but turned into shit people & all thats in between.
i firstly realized that the people that are not my parents & sister & grandparents, they dont matter. thier lives are not intertwined with mine. their lives and actions do not influence mine greatly, if not at all.
the only people that can remotely influence my stubborn mind are the people i see every day. and nothing will ever change that
and in a way, that really scares me.
but
it also brings me to my next epiphany
you are an abolute reflection of your family.
now, that can go 2 ways; you can be a direct reflection of your family, meaning that you are exactly what they are. OR you can be a mirror image of them, and be the direct opposite of what they are.
i tried figuring out little examples to see wether my new little idea was correct
and surely, it was
try it out. think of someone you know & then think of their parents & compare them. they; always be the same or opposite to their families. theres no in between




on a lighter note
i need to sneeze
but i cant
so my face feels weird now
arghh


oh
tomorrow is australia day
i dont get the hype
but then again, im not remotely patriotic
okay. australia's cool & everything, but why are you forcing me to have a barbeque?
buy your own damned meat! cant you see we're in an economic crisis here, people?!

speaking of which
i need a job
no. wait. let me rephrase that
im in dire need of a job. and i place such strong emphasis on the word 'dire' that not even adding italics to it can express what im saying



i had a coffee about an hour ago
bad idea considering its 2.30am right now
im completely buzzing, but im crazy tired at the same time
its not good at all
but i think im going to have to force myself to sleep considering tomorrow's going to be a busy day
ahh
i'll try and report back with the events of tomorrow
goodnight blog world.

x

not so jolly, fa lalalala lala la la.

its been almost a month since ive written a blog, so now ive got a whole bunch of crap to cover
(as i write this, im not exactly in a wonderful state of mind, but youl find out about that later.)

anyway
lets begin from the 25th of December
ahh christmas
wasnt that great this year
wasnt that great last year
and i have a feeling it wont be great any other years
i spent most of the day doing nothing and complaining about how shit the day was
and then that night i went out to CQ for Maco night. going clubbing after a really shitty day is pretty good. that night was crazy fun & that night i had pretty much my first real kiss haha *facepalms
the next day, the boy that gave me that kiss went on to become my boyfriend.

uhm
other stuff happeneddd and then it was new years eve
again
a day of perpetual failure. i spent the day at home alone & that night i went with my parents & my sister to my grandmas house. we all almost fell asleep before 12, but then we went outside, watched the fireworks, then went inside and had some grappa. to those of you that dont know what that is, its pretty much just straight vodka shots. and yes, i was doing shots with my family haha

january 1st, i went with my boyfriend to the zoo and had some giggles at some funny animals and stuff. then we had a nice night at the beach
cut to today, the 5th of Jan, and he and i broke up.
mylord a lot happens in a day doesnt it.
so yeah
pretty much sucks. and it sucks even more that my best friend is in a whole other state right now on a holiday. well, it doesnt suck, its good for her, all having fun & stuff, but ive got mass guilt for calling her on her holiday to give me therapy
but yeah. i dont like this feeling
but its all made me realize, that i very much strongly dislike most people in my life right now.
im glad that high school's over.
im already set that i dont want to go to the 5 year reunion.

someone should come with me and move to Manhattan
or Paris
or even Rome.
i need new surroundings.
i need a new life.

i sure as hell will get that.



and on a lighter note, i found the ruby slippers!
i bought them sometime last month & was crazy excited about it
i'll take a photo of them & put it up next time ;]

til then
i hope things become wonderful
x

perpetual failure

ive been putting off writing a blog for the past...since i last wrote a blog.
im not too sure why. i think it had something to do with not wanting to sound like a douche, but shit; its to late for that now, innit.
well. i dont really know where to begin.
so i think i'll start from the middle.
right now crisis has reached breaking point and my sanity has almost left base camp.
lately my body constantly tingles from holding back. holding back on making noise. being expressive & 'putting things out there'
it seems like ive reached the next chapter of my life already. so soon after school's finished. i thought this chapter would begin sometime in january, after all 'festivities' had died down, but apparently, i was wrong. oh so very wrong.
and i was also wrong about how this chapter would begin.
i envisioned that it would go something like this:
"She started the day terribly. she looked & felt like an absolute wreck. She barely made it to the station in time to catch the train to her first interview. She struggled to put on her makeup while the train sped along its way, bumping & jolting. She looked like a clown getting off the train and looked like an even bigger clown as she fell down the steps on her way up to the interview. She scraped her knee and tore her dress and realized, life is gunna be pretty shit from now on."
BUT NO
instead, shit's turning out perfectly!
i mean, sure, i dont currently have a job, so its a bit of a struggle with money, but generally, its all dandy. ive got a family that loves me, ive got a couple of really awesome friends, ive got pretty much all of the materialistic things i need/want & the weather's been getting much better lately, so, why am i currently in a bigger state of depression than i have ever been in?

and no, im not just using the term 'depression' just for the sake of it; im using it out of all sincerity & with technical reasoning.
depression has quite a list of symptoms to it & if you have these symptoms for longer than 2 weeks, you're clinically depressed.
well, its coming into week number 4 now, so i think its a safe diagnosis...

okay. i find it excruciatingly pathetic that im writing all this in a blog for potentially the whole world to see, but considering my lack of views, i dont see how it could affect anybody. ha

ohmy how i could go on forever about this, but eventhough no one will read this, it makes me feel uncomfortable publicly announcing the depths of my self pity.




i dont know what to do anymore.

nagi noda

today, i found out about Nagi Naoda's existance & death
"Nagi died on Sept 7, 2008, at age 35, after surgical complications from injuries sustained in a traffic accident"
that was pretty shattering. i've had this photo of a 'hair hat' in the shape of a bear for quite some time now & just a few hours ago, i found out who the magnificent artist was that created it & also found out that she had directed this video.


i remember seeing this photo years ago in the NGV little catalogue book & it reminded me of this song from the very early 90's that i loved as a kid


anyway, i just wanted to share some photos of her creations




maybe i should go to the formal with hair like that...



x

high school graduate

13 years. thir. teeeeennnn.
my goodness
almost a decade and a half of solid routine. school - home - school - home
ive finished my last exam and never have to attend school ever again.
it feels so liberating, but now i feel so...pointless. like, theres no purpose for me.
its such an awkward feeling
i was home alone for a few hours after i finished my studio art exam this morning (which went freaking swimmingly by the way :D haha) & i just felt so lost. it was weird.
i had so much of nothing to do

so in pursuit of boredom resistance, i went blog reading
and Sherri's blog gave me an idea
write up a list of things i wanna do
so then, i'll have some sort of general direction with what to do with myself until i find out wether im going to go to uni or start work or what.

oh
but before i write up a list, i just needa say
i totally got a letter from this hairdressing college, for an interview!
:D im so excited! and i wanna watch tacky 80's dancing movies now...
haha

okay
now
the list

-learn to bake well. (start off with cupcakes & simple things & work my way up to things so sweet they could kill a diabetic.)
-read the last Gossip Girl book.
-read to kill a mockingbird. fully. without any distractions.
-people watch in the city for at least 4 hours non stop.
-go into Miss Louise dressed up real nice & classy looking, try on every single shoe in the store & then walk out saying i dont think they have anything worth spending my money on. (ha! suck on that, you bastards!)
-eat cereal in the park again
-watch the sky for an entire day
-fall asleep under the stars
-research things for my business
-start my art project on the 1st of January. or else the whole thing is screwed up.
-start a quirky socio-art project with Sherri (she knows the one im talking about)
-watch all of audrey hepburn's movies in a week
-wear a little black dress and tiara, then go to tiffanys in the morning with a coffee & bagel
-wear a little black dress and tiara, then go to the mcdonalds playground and just sit there while little kids run around screaming
-have a picnic!
-throw a costume party
-dress up as a cute panda
-recieve flowers...even if they are from myself.. haha
-GET A CAR!
-GET A JOB!
-GET OUT OF THE STATE! haha lol@how ive never been out of Victoria before.. :/
-wear a backstreet boys top to a metal gig
-wear suspenders
-dress up like a harajuku girl
-sew a sucessful dress
-watch the whole series of sex and the city while drinking cosmopolitans with the girls
-take up photography again



hrm
well
thats all i can think of that i want to achieve in the next few months
when i think of some more, i'll write em up too
:]




x

communicate. visually..

hah
vis comm exam this morning
absolutely hillllllaaariousssss!
zero study
zero failure
i think i did pretty well on it, surprisingly
hah
well, when i get my enter score, it might say otherwise..
but im pleased with how it went & thats all that matters


well
studio art exam tomorrow
only exam im actual caring about
and only exam i want to go to bed before 1am for..
hah



x